It's Chuck the Water Cop, who keeps telling you to turn off Momma's hose. Looks like he made highway patrol. Is that Zombietown he's patrolling? What they send him way out there for?
And how come Mr. Singh's peddling vegetables out of his van in the middle of the night?
It's Senator Hillary Boxerstein. But ... she looks an awful lot like your date. And she's hooked up with Michael Moore ...
Moore: "How many times do I have to repeat it? Somebody needs to go on national TV and say 'There is no zombie threat!'"
Zombies: "Hnnnh. Braiiins."
Zombies: "... want brains ..."
Crazy Neil heads for his gun store. Like he always does.
More? Where do they all come from?
Jason: "..."
Moore: "The truth is that zombies were a peace loving people that had never attacked an American."
Moore: "... and the greatest danger of the civilian ownership of guns? Collateral explosions. A rifle bullet can travel a mile before it stops. How many gun owners live within a mile of a gas line?"
Jason: "..."
Zombies: "... brains ..."
Zombies: "... fried chicken brains ... brains ..."
Officer Chuck: "... get your behinds back in that yard and turn off your momma's hose. And quit your moaning!"
Peter Long's house: (crackle smoke hiss)
Ted Targos: "Deregulation sucks. If we didn't have competition I woulda been off at three thirty and sitting pretty by now ..."
Leroy Mousetrap: "Help! They's zombies out on these streets!"
Neil: "Yeah? And niggers. Scram!" *
Logan Gang: "Heh < gurgle > heh heh ..."
Jason: "..."
Moore: "Why don't people think about this sort of thing before they bury corpses with personal firearms?"
Officer Chuck: "You shouldn't leave your van upside down on the road like that, boy. I'm gonna have to write you a ticket. Here, you need help with that scalp wound? Looks pretty deep."
Targos: "Brains!"
Ash: "Uh, Uh-oh ... Klatu, Barata, Nik-ehm-< cough > ..."
Ash: "Damn. Here we go again."
A-Team: (theme song)
Moore: "And who do we blame for all this urban unrest? Not the Bush administration! Oh, noooooo ..."
Hannibal: "Peter Long and his people are still in that burning building, I see Mike Bullock up on top of the gun store, and we can only make one stop before we got zombies all over us. Either we save the fags, or -"
BA: "Save the what?" *
Hannibal: "Never mind. Someone flag down Bullock."
Ash: "Who's next? You? (revs chainsaw) Come get some."
Moore: "Americans are overweight people with no -" *
Zombie: "Brains!"
Moore: "Americans are the kind of people who take a van with a high center of gravity and mix it with fast driving, personal firearms, and a road slicked down with zombie guts. And we want the rest of the world to be like us?"
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Moore: "Not to mention the rollover risk of SUVs ..."
The Alligator Poacher: "Krikey! Not the face! Not the ...!"
Zombie: "... brains!"
Driver: "FedEx overnight for a Mr. 'J.R.' I have a box of -"
Zombie: "Brains!"
Moore: "And worst of all, the Corvette! Can you believe how stupid Ralph Nader is, even for an American? Corvair - Corvette - GM just changes the name and he's off their case. Especially the convertible. These things flip over when they're just sitting parked. It's true!"
Old Man Crawford: "Lucky we had the commotion to distract people. Here it is." (Hands over suitcase) "Count it if you like."
Widow Black: "Can't you just pay your graft at the office like my normal clients?"
Bill Johnson: (driving ice cream truck; over loudspeaker, reciting text of Zombie Patriot Act.)
Moore: "Guns don't make us safer. People have this fantasy that if they're attacked and they have a gun, they can defend themselves. Wake up!"
